The Rise Of The "Sugar Mamma"

by Manisha Thakor

 Sug·ar Mam·ma- noun

A woman who is in the financial driver's seat of her life

Watching the season finale of HBO's Boardwalk Empire last night, I was struck afresh by how far we women have come. This show depicts life in Atlantic City during the Prohibition Era. There is one scene in particular that I can't get out of my head. It's when the lovely young widow, Mrs. Margaret Schroeder, finds a mini "tattered rag" in her piece of holiday cake while her friend receives the toy "wedding ring." The tattered rag was a superstitious symbol that she would end up old and poor. Not long after Mrs. Schroeder chose to place herself in the arms of the corrupt, but rich and powerful, crime boss Nucky Thompson - the very man who had her husband killed to begin with (TV, sigh, it's complicated). What jumped out at me was the emotional pain with which this smart, ambitious mother of two concluded that in an era of limited work opportunities for women, the only way to keep her family afloat was to take up with a "Sugar Daddy." 

By contrast, in modern America there have been a number of news stories of late highlighting the rise of the female breadwinner. It started with The Shriver Report pointing out that even though women still earn $0.77 on the dollar (big grumble), nearly 4 out of 10 working mothers are the primary breadwinners in their households. When you add in working mothers who are co-breadwinners the number tops 6 out of 10.  A New York Magazine article entitled Alpha Women, Beta Men colorfully describes some of the havoc wrought by this trend while a recent Reuters piece on The Female-Breadwinner Model focuses on how to make the most of it. 

As more and more women find themselves by choice or life circumstances as the primary or co-breadwinner in their households, I've noticed a new trend. I'm calling it "The Rise Of The Sugar Mamma." I define the modern "Sugar Mamma" as a woman who wants to be in the financial driver's seat of her life. She views money as a tool that gives her a voice and increases her life choices. She likes earning an income because it gives her control and the freedom to create the life that makes her heart sing.  She may be single, married, a mother, or childless but the common denominator is a desire to learn how to live her life from a position of financial strength.

Now, if this sounds like I'm stuck in the 1960s, spend a few moments reading a few of the 122 Amazon reviews of one of my all time favorite books, Leslie Bennett's The Feminine Mistake. The hardcover version came out in March 2007... before all economic heck broke lose. Women either adored - or hated - the book's premise, that by ignoring the economic consequences of lifestyle choices, we women are putting ourselves in long-term financial danger. I can't help but wonder what the naysayers would say today in the face of all the painful upheaval brought about by the economic downturn.

In response to the increase in women who are primary or co-breadwinners, I am renaming my blog "The Sugar Mamma Chronicles," and will focus on providing personal finance information (and inspiration!) to working women who want to put themselves in the financial drivers seat of their lives.  My first tip for aspiring Sugar Mammas... read Leslie's wonderful book

Want more financial love? You can follow Manisha on Twitter at @ManishaThakor, sign up to receive her weekly blog posts here, and/or enroll in her innovative online personal finance course called "Money Rules."  Founder of the Women's Financial Literacy Initiative, Manisha can be reached via her website: www.ManishaThakor.com

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Manisha Thakor

From Manisha's linkedin profile page:

Manisha Thakor is the Director of Wealth Strategies for Women at Buckingham Strategic Wealth and The BAM Alliance. 

Manisha and her colleagues provide both evidence-based wealth advisory services for high-net-worth households and core asset management solutions for women and families nationwide with $80,000 or more in investible assets. 

An ardent financial literacy advocate for women, Manisha is the co-author of two critically acclaimed personal finance books: ON MY OWN TWO FEET: a modern girl’s guide to personal finance and GET FINANCIALLY NAKED: how to talk money with your honey. She is on Faculty at The Omega Institute and serves as a Financial Fellow at Wellesley College. Manisha is also a member of The Wall Street Journal’s Wealth Experts Panel, a member of the 2015 CNBC Financial Advisor’s Council, and wearing her financial educator’s hat serves as a part of TIAA-CREF’s Women’s Initiative. 

Manisha's financial advice has been featured in a wide range of national media outlets including CNN, PBS, NPR, The Today Show, Rachel Ray, The New York Times, The Boston Globe, The LA Times, Real Simple, Women’s Day, Glamour, Essence, and MORE magazine.

Prior to joining the Buckingham team, Manisha spent over twenty years working in financial services. On the institutional side she worked as an analyst, portfolio manager and client relations executive at SG Warburg, Atalanta/Sosnoff Capital, Fayez Sarofim & Co., and Sands Capital Management. After this she moved to the retail side and ran her own independent registered investment advisory firm, MoneyZen Wealth Management. 

Manisha earned her MBA from Harvard Business School in 1997, her BA from Wellesley College in 1992 and is a CFA charterholder. She lives in Portland, OR where she delights in the amazing Third Wave coffee scene and stunning natural beauty of the Pacific NorthWest. Manisha’s website is MoneyZen.com.