Ladies, Should You Ask For It?

by Manisha Thakor

Quick - what was the first thing that came to your mind when you read the title of this post?

What about "Gentleman, should you ask for it?" Would this change your response? For many people the female-oriented title raises sexual connotations while the male-oriented iteration conjures thoughts of money and power. 

For the record, in both cases I am talking about asking for raises at work. This is a subject that has long made my stomach churn.  As a natural people-pleaser-and-avoider-of-conflict, I've preferred to work hard and hope my results will speak loudly for themselves. Turns out I'm not alone in this. 

Recently I talked with Carnegie Mellon Professor Linda Babcock, coauthor of "Women Don't Ask" and "Ask For It," two fantastic books on why and how working women should negotiate salaries.  (Professor Babcock is also very involved with motivating young girls. Thanks to her, the Girl Scouts now have a badge for negotiation skills).  Here are two of the many eye-popping statistics from Professor Babcock's work: 

  • Avoiding negotiating your first salary can cost you $500,000 by age 60 (oh, and men negotiate their first salaries 4x more often than women).

  • Women who consistently negotiate their salaries throughout their careers typically earn $1 million more in lifetime career earnings than women who don't.

So what motivates negotiators? Locus of control. Professor Babcock observes that people who negotiate tend to have a worldview that is more "optimistic than fatalistic, malleable versus fixed." Psychologists have noted that men consistently - across countries - have a higher propensity to see "the world as their oyster" than women.  Ergo, more men negotiate than women.

Alas, her research also shows that, "Men can behave anyway they want when they negotiate, but people have a strong preference for how women negotiate. Direct and aggressive doesn't work." For women a "more cooperative and relationship oriented" approach tends to be more effective.  When women adopt a bold can-do attitude they are often met with a "visceral reaction to strong women" and perceived as being not nice. Clearly, for women to achieve lasting pay parity, this has to change... but that's a whole 'nother topic.

Let's get back to how this discussion can improve your life now

This gut-wrenching economic environment may not seem the obvious one in which to rock the boat. But it's also an environment when employers can't afford to lose their best people. An innovative new website called GetRaised.com can help you make the most of your current situation.  With a few mouse clicks it will tell you if you are underpaid and for an additional $20 it will prepare a custom raise request that you can use to negotiate.  If you don't get a raise in 6 months you'll get your $20 back.  The company currently pegs the average raise received by users at $3,078. Not a bad return on $20.

What about you?  Have you ever asked for a raise and if so, how did it go?


[Want more financial love? You can follow Women's Financial Literacy Initiative founder, Manisha Thakor, on Twitter at @ManishaThakor or on Facebook at /ManishaThakor.

Comment /Source

Manisha Thakor

From Manisha's linkedin profile page:

Manisha Thakor is the Director of Wealth Strategies for Women at Buckingham Strategic Wealth and The BAM Alliance. 

Manisha and her colleagues provide both evidence-based wealth advisory services for high-net-worth households and core asset management solutions for women and families nationwide with $80,000 or more in investible assets. 

An ardent financial literacy advocate for women, Manisha is the co-author of two critically acclaimed personal finance books: ON MY OWN TWO FEET: a modern girl’s guide to personal finance and GET FINANCIALLY NAKED: how to talk money with your honey. She is on Faculty at The Omega Institute and serves as a Financial Fellow at Wellesley College. Manisha is also a member of The Wall Street Journal’s Wealth Experts Panel, a member of the 2015 CNBC Financial Advisor’s Council, and wearing her financial educator’s hat serves as a part of TIAA-CREF’s Women’s Initiative. 

Manisha's financial advice has been featured in a wide range of national media outlets including CNN, PBS, NPR, The Today Show, Rachel Ray, The New York Times, The Boston Globe, The LA Times, Real Simple, Women’s Day, Glamour, Essence, and MORE magazine.

Prior to joining the Buckingham team, Manisha spent over twenty years working in financial services. On the institutional side she worked as an analyst, portfolio manager and client relations executive at SG Warburg, Atalanta/Sosnoff Capital, Fayez Sarofim & Co., and Sands Capital Management. After this she moved to the retail side and ran her own independent registered investment advisory firm, MoneyZen Wealth Management. 

Manisha earned her MBA from Harvard Business School in 1997, her BA from Wellesley College in 1992 and is a CFA charterholder. She lives in Portland, OR where she delights in the amazing Third Wave coffee scene and stunning natural beauty of the Pacific NorthWest. Manisha’s website is MoneyZen.com.

Daring To Be Ourselves... Financially

by Manisha Thakor

 Do you have enough money?

 Last week I wrote about the high cost to women of not speaking up for ourselves financially in the workplace.  One statistic from that piece keeps floating through my head like the Goodyear blimp:  Women who consistently negotiate their salaries throughout their careers earn $1 million more over their work lives than women who do not.

This struck me for two reasons.  First, during my 15 years in corporate America I never once asked for a raise.  Why?  When I'm 100% honest with myself it's that I was afraid to "Just Do It" as the Nike commercial says. I didn't want to sound pushy, greedy, or heaven forbid:  "Not. Nice."  Second, 57 women were kind enough to take a short survey I put together about their feelings around money.  By far the number one phrase that popped up was "not enough money."  Some of it was frustration about not having enough money right now due to job loss, health issues, lack of understanding about personal finance and/or poor spending habits.  Some of it was fear around not having enough money in retirement.  But over and over that same phrase, "not enough money," kept coming up.  So I asked myself to what degree our fear about not having enough money and ending up old and poor can be transformed by our own actions.

For inspiration, I decided to turn to Feminist.com founder Marianne Schnall's inspiring new book, Daring To Be Ourselves: influential women share insights on courage, happiness and finding your own voice.  Schnall's book is a delightful compendium of quotes from women ranging from Maya Angelou to Madeleine Albright to Margaret Cho.  While these insights extend to broader issues, I find that they can also be applied to money.  For example, if you are feeling like you don't have "enough money" and that the root cause might be that you are not speaking up in the workplace and/or daring to be yourself financially, here are a few of my favorite abbreviated snippets from Daring To Be Ourselves to use as money mantras:

... no matter how hard it is to do it, it’s harder not to do it.  Then you’re stuck with wondering, ‘What if I had said...?’ ‘What if I had done...?
— Gloria Steinem
Get over the feeling that the two words don’t go together - women and power... We have to own our personal power...
— Jane Fonda
Stop living your life as if you’re going to be rescued... and you will transform whatever pain is inside you.
— Eve Ensler

What about you - do you have any money mantras that help you speak up and own your financial power?


Want more financial love? You can follow Women's Financial Literacy Initiative founder, Manisha Thakor, on Twitter at @ManishaThakor or on Facebook at /ManishaThakor.

Comment /Source

Manisha Thakor

From Manisha's linkedin profile page:

Manisha Thakor is the Director of Wealth Strategies for Women at Buckingham Strategic Wealth and The BAM Alliance. 

Manisha and her colleagues provide both evidence-based wealth advisory services for high-net-worth households and core asset management solutions for women and families nationwide with $80,000 or more in investible assets. 

An ardent financial literacy advocate for women, Manisha is the co-author of two critically acclaimed personal finance books: ON MY OWN TWO FEET: a modern girl’s guide to personal finance and GET FINANCIALLY NAKED: how to talk money with your honey. She is on Faculty at The Omega Institute and serves as a Financial Fellow at Wellesley College. Manisha is also a member of The Wall Street Journal’s Wealth Experts Panel, a member of the 2015 CNBC Financial Advisor’s Council, and wearing her financial educator’s hat serves as a part of TIAA-CREF’s Women’s Initiative. 

Manisha's financial advice has been featured in a wide range of national media outlets including CNN, PBS, NPR, The Today Show, Rachel Ray, The New York Times, The Boston Globe, The LA Times, Real Simple, Women’s Day, Glamour, Essence, and MORE magazine.

Prior to joining the Buckingham team, Manisha spent over twenty years working in financial services. On the institutional side she worked as an analyst, portfolio manager and client relations executive at SG Warburg, Atalanta/Sosnoff Capital, Fayez Sarofim & Co., and Sands Capital Management. After this she moved to the retail side and ran her own independent registered investment advisory firm, MoneyZen Wealth Management. 

Manisha earned her MBA from Harvard Business School in 1997, her BA from Wellesley College in 1992 and is a CFA charterholder. She lives in Portland, OR where she delights in the amazing Third Wave coffee scene and stunning natural beauty of the Pacific NorthWest. Manisha’s website is MoneyZen.com.

Shopping Triggers and How to Curb Them: Depression

by Stacy Francis, CFP®, CDFA

At a seminar today, a woman desperate to take control over her finances confessed that her worst shopping trigger was depression. Whether she was feeling lonely, overworked, fat, poor, or just blue in general, the only way she could cheer herself up was through shopping. While this may sound ludicrous to some, her problem is far from uncommon.

When everything else goes wrong, we reason, can I at least have a Dior lipstick? And for many of us, shopping does create a buzz not all that different from a glass of wine or a divine bar of chocolate. We do feel better, as owners of that gorgeous lipstick that makes us look so special. But just as with any short term high, the problem is, when the warm fuzzy feeling disappears we are worse off than we were before. Because the next time we are feeling lonely/overworked/far/poor/blue, we need to add to the equation that we are also in debt.

In a way, shopping to cure depression can be compared to drinking to cure depression. Sure, our chances for liver failure are significantly smaller, but credit card debt can be a major hassle – and make you feel a whole lot worse. There are other ways to cheer up and lose those gloomy feelings: exercise, spending time with friends, meditation, choosing better foods, etc., etc. – and these are things that will help you in the long term as well. Next time, opt for one of those.

Check out all the articles of our Shopping Triggers series.

Comment

Stacy Francis, CFP®, CDFA

Stacy Francis is the Founder, CEO and President of Francis Financial, Inc., a Wealth Management and Financial Planning firm. With over 18 years of experience in the financial industry, she is a CERTIFIED FINANCIAL PLANNER™ (CFP®), a Certified Divorce Financial Analyst™ (CDFA™), and a Certified Estate Planning Specialist (CES™). She is the Co-Director of the Association of Divorce Financial Planners’ (ADFP) Greater New York Metro Chapter and a member of the Women Presidents’ Organization (WPO) and an honoree member of the Private Risk Management Association (PRMA). A nationally recognized financial expert, Stacy has appeared on ABC News, CNBC, CNN, PBS Nightly Business Report, The Today Show, Good Morning America, Fine Living Network, and The O’Reilly Factor. Stacy attended the New York University Center for Finance, Law and Taxation.

Shopping Triggers and How to Curb Them: Hobby Shopping

by Stacy Francis, CFP®, CDFA

A friend called me up last night. “We are getting the old gang together,” she said, “for some shopping.” Would I care to join them?

This last shopping trigger (for now, anyway) is also one of the most common, and one of the most encouraged by all sorts of media, from mainstream movies and TV shows to books – not to mention magazines. The explanations for why so many women list shopping as one of their favorite hobbies vary. Some say it is in our DNA – that women have always been gatherers and shopping is the modern version. Others say we are trying to attract men by looking good, and yet others say c’mon – shopping is fun!

Whatever the reason, this hobby can have a devastating effect on your finances, both in the long and the short term. Because not only do we hit up shopping malls even when we may not need anything – when we shop together, we encourage each other to spend more. Because how could you possibly resist buying a pair of designer jeans when four of your best friends are staring admiringly at you, telling you your derriere has never looked better? It is even worse if you go shopping with friends who have more money than you do, or ones that tend to overspend.

I am not trying to be the party pooper (ok I will be honest that I am probably the only woman on the face of the planet that does not like shopping), or tell you that you shouldn’t meet your peeps at the mall. But take a look at your finances first, use cash only, create a budget for yourself, and stick to it.

If your friends truly care about you, they will respect this and you will have a lovely day without getting in over your head.

Check out the other articles in our series on Shopping Triggers.

Comment

Stacy Francis, CFP®, CDFA

Stacy Francis is the Founder, CEO and President of Francis Financial, Inc., a Wealth Management and Financial Planning firm. With over 18 years of experience in the financial industry, she is a CERTIFIED FINANCIAL PLANNER™ (CFP®), a Certified Divorce Financial Analyst™ (CDFA™), and a Certified Estate Planning Specialist (CES™). She is the Co-Director of the Association of Divorce Financial Planners’ (ADFP) Greater New York Metro Chapter and a member of the Women Presidents’ Organization (WPO) and an honoree member of the Private Risk Management Association (PRMA). A nationally recognized financial expert, Stacy has appeared on ABC News, CNBC, CNN, PBS Nightly Business Report, The Today Show, Good Morning America, Fine Living Network, and The O’Reilly Factor. Stacy attended the New York University Center for Finance, Law and Taxation.

Shopping Triggers and How to Curb Them: Plastic Instead of Paper

by Stacy Francis, CFP®, CDFA

Yesterday, a dear friend invited me to a pre-sale event in a major department store. There would be free champagne, she told me, excellent service, fun music, wonderful people and above all – of course – some killer outfits, just off the catwalk. Now, the thing is, this has been quite an expensive month for me, with vacation times along with some unforeseen expenses. So I told her that unfortunately, I’d have to pass because of money.

“Why,” she asked, “don’t you just charge it?” I nearly gulped out loud! Doesn’t she remember that I am a financial planner? That is like telling a dietician to start living only on a diet of McDonalds!

This leads us to our next shopping trigger: those wonderful, glistening, magic little cards that are sometimes able to bring us so much pleasure. Because, we reason, why would we pass up fabulous deals and pay more for the things we want later, when we can just seal the deal by charging them, and then pay them off when we do have the money?

The answer goes a little deeper than the obvious one of the financing charges that make most personal finance experts recommend that we double the sum of each purchase we charge but do not intend to pay off the same month, to get an idea of the actual cost. It is also this very behavior-- to seal the deal fast by putting up the plastic -- that gets so many of us in debt, severely damaging our financial futures. Instead, think about how much better of a deal it is to pay cash when you actually have the money, and stay clear of the murky depths of credit card debt.

Check out the other articles in our series on Shopping Triggers.

Comment

Stacy Francis, CFP®, CDFA

Stacy Francis is the Founder, CEO and President of Francis Financial, Inc., a Wealth Management and Financial Planning firm. With over 18 years of experience in the financial industry, she is a CERTIFIED FINANCIAL PLANNER™ (CFP®), a Certified Divorce Financial Analyst™ (CDFA™), and a Certified Estate Planning Specialist (CES™). She is the Co-Director of the Association of Divorce Financial Planners’ (ADFP) Greater New York Metro Chapter and a member of the Women Presidents’ Organization (WPO) and an honoree member of the Private Risk Management Association (PRMA). A nationally recognized financial expert, Stacy has appeared on ABC News, CNBC, CNN, PBS Nightly Business Report, The Today Show, Good Morning America, Fine Living Network, and The O’Reilly Factor. Stacy attended the New York University Center for Finance, Law and Taxation.

Shopping Triggers and How to Curb Them: Sense of Entitlement

by Stacy Francis, CFP®, CDFA

Watching TV last night got me thinking about how our entire society is built around this shopping trigger. TV and radio ads, magazines and catalogues all scream to us: you deserve this, you’re worth it, treat yourself! This is because savvy advertisers know that creating a sense of entitlement is one of the most potent ways to get consumers to cough up the dough.

It is so easy, when exposed to those ads, to start thinking that “hey, that’s right, I did pass that exam/meet that deadline/suffer through that nasty flu/put up with the in-laws staying at my house for a full week, I do deserve a little something.” The problem is, none of those things did anything to change your budget, so when you treat yourself, you have to either find another place to cut, or get (further) into debt.

The best way to curb this is to tell yourself, whenever overcome with this sense of entitlement, that if there is anything you deserve, it is to have your finances in order. If you need to repeat it over and over again, fine – let it be your personal affirmation. After all, what outfit/cosmetic product/trip/new high tech gizmo could possibly make you feel better than true financial security?

Check out the other articles in our series on Shopping Triggers.

Comment

Stacy Francis, CFP®, CDFA

Stacy Francis is the Founder, CEO and President of Francis Financial, Inc., a Wealth Management and Financial Planning firm. With over 18 years of experience in the financial industry, she is a CERTIFIED FINANCIAL PLANNER™ (CFP®), a Certified Divorce Financial Analyst™ (CDFA™), and a Certified Estate Planning Specialist (CES™). She is the Co-Director of the Association of Divorce Financial Planners’ (ADFP) Greater New York Metro Chapter and a member of the Women Presidents’ Organization (WPO) and an honoree member of the Private Risk Management Association (PRMA). A nationally recognized financial expert, Stacy has appeared on ABC News, CNBC, CNN, PBS Nightly Business Report, The Today Show, Good Morning America, Fine Living Network, and The O’Reilly Factor. Stacy attended the New York University Center for Finance, Law and Taxation.

Shopping Triggers and How to Curb Them: Bargain Hunting

by Stacy Francis, CFP®, CDFA

The more I blog about shopping triggers, the more they seem to pop up all around me. Here’s another one I have encountered three different times – just today.

I saw that Gristedes has grapes on sale, so you can save over $2 per pound. Our new grocery store Whole Foods promises that you can save on beef tenderloin. A furniture store advertises savings of over 50% when you buy their lounge chairs and side tables.

What is wrong with this picture? Well, for starters, if you spend $5 on grapes, you have spent $5, not saved $2. Just as with stocks and funds, yesterday’s price is irrelevant. Neither your budget nor your cash flow cares that the lounge chair you bought for $200 would have been $400, had you bought it a week earlier.

The problem is, this logic lures many less informed consumers into spending large amounts of money. And so advertisers keep at it, making us think this makes perfect sense. But similar to credit card spending, you first need to consider your financial situation and your budget. If you cannot afford a $200 lounge chair, the fact that it is reduced from $400 does not make buying it any less of a problem. Keep this in mind, and you will have conquered yet another shopping trigger!

Check out the other articles in our series on Shopping Triggers.

Comment

Stacy Francis, CFP®, CDFA

Stacy Francis is the Founder, CEO and President of Francis Financial, Inc., a Wealth Management and Financial Planning firm. With over 18 years of experience in the financial industry, she is a CERTIFIED FINANCIAL PLANNER™ (CFP®), a Certified Divorce Financial Analyst™ (CDFA™), and a Certified Estate Planning Specialist (CES™). She is the Co-Director of the Association of Divorce Financial Planners’ (ADFP) Greater New York Metro Chapter and a member of the Women Presidents’ Organization (WPO) and an honoree member of the Private Risk Management Association (PRMA). A nationally recognized financial expert, Stacy has appeared on ABC News, CNBC, CNN, PBS Nightly Business Report, The Today Show, Good Morning America, Fine Living Network, and The O’Reilly Factor. Stacy attended the New York University Center for Finance, Law and Taxation.