How do you show up each day?
by Karen McMahon
A look at our emotions as Energy in Motion and how to move toward awareness, engagement and fulfillment
I used to be a pretty positive person. But a few years into my marriage, working full time and raising two toddlers, I found myself constantly angry. At first I was struggling through a rocky, oft-times abusive marriage and later a hostile divorce. I was fighting with my spouse all the time; living in a house filled with stress, the kids began to act out constantly; financial fears and overall anxieties were so intense you could cut the tension with a knife. It is no wonder I wasn’t at my best, maneuvering through my everyday challenges.
What challenges are you facing and how are you handling them? If you are getting tired of the way you are showing up, the good news is you can do something about it. You don’t have to approach each day with worry, anger and tension. You don’t have to snap at people, cry at the drop of a hat and be tied into knots each time you need to make a critical decision. You can shift to a better place. But like everything, it is a process and patience is critical.
The solution is in the lens through which you view your world. From where you stand life might look pretty grim or scary or unfair and because perception is reality, your feelings are totally understandable. However, you can change your perspective. Ask yourself a few key questions…
- Is there another way to look at this situation?
- Are there any other possibilities besides the one I am currently considering?
- How might someone else see this situation?
- How is my perspective serving me and what is another viewpoint I might consider?
Typically when we are in a pressure cooker like divorce, we look at the world through the eyes of a victim or a fighter. We are either depressed or in some level of conflict. Either of these vantage points is like standing in front of a runaway freight train. All we see is doom and gloom. What if you were to move to a ‘safer’ vantage point, one that served you better?
When you feel sad and hopeless or angry and fearful, you feel a heavy sensation as if you are dragging yourself through your day. Likewise, when you experience a beautiful sunset or a wonderful night out with friends and loved ones, the feeling is calm and peace or joy and excitement. During these times you feel a lightness of being. The reason for the heavy and light sensation is the energy that comes with the emotions. Emotions are simply energy in motion.
Stay tuned, I am going to look at the seven energy levels that we all reside in. From the ‘catabolic’ life depleting energy that you experience when you are feeling like a victim or in full out conflict as mentioned above, to the move fulfilling energies in living in forgiveness, compassion, peace and joy.
Karen McMahon, Certified Relationship & Divorce Coach & Master Energy Practitioner, wrote this post. Karen is the founder of KM Life Coaching and co-author of “Navigating Your Divorce: A guide to the Legal, Financial and Emotional Basics”, a free ebook. Karen’s passion is to work with men and women going through the divorce process; helping them navigate the difficulties while focusing on personal growth and embracing the opportunities that lie ahead.